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Who among us does not love funny stories?! Who among us does not long to hear them, read them, or even mention them from time to time?!
Each of us has his own funny story to tell, whether it is real or from his imagination, or perhaps it is from stories he has heard before, but the only constant is that funny stories that touch the heart remain stuck in the mind forever, no matter how old they are.
The first story:
One of the funniest stories ever…
She started talking to her husband without any introduction…
Wife: “Abdul Rahman, I am showing you the divorce!”
The husband, in astonishment and surprise: “What?!”
She said to him again: “I want a divorce!”
He replied: “Of course.”
I asked him with displeasure: “What do you mean by ‘present, God willing’?!”
Husband: “I only meant that I will do what you want, I will divorce you. What is strange about what I said? Isn’t it clear to you?!”
Wife: “Don’t you want to know why I asked you for a divorce?!”
The husband, calmly and composedly: “You have mentioned many reasons before, certainly one of the reasons you mentioned earlier. Certainly you have your logical reasons for asking me for a divorce. You are not young and certainly you know what is in your best interest very well.”
The wife, annoyed and disgusted: “What do you mean I’m not young? I’m still young. Do you know that when I got married, I was…”
He interrupted her, saying: “Don’t be sad about what I said. You are young and you know what is best for you.”
Wife: “Watch your words, I am young but I have a mind as big as an entire country.”
Husband: “Of course you are.”
Wife: “And when will you divorce me, God willing?”
The husband replied, “Immediately after I get back from work, God willing.”
Wife: “What will you do with the kids?!”
The husband replied: “You are completely free. I will do whatever you see fit for the children, and I will not impose my opinion or control. I will fulfill whatever you want.”
The wife said: “It is not as I want, but as the family law states, I will take the children into my custody until each of them reaches the age of eighteen.”
Husband: “I agree, and if you want to, I don’t mind!”
The wife, annoyed: “Of course she wants to get rid of them so she can marry a second wife and enjoy a quiet life away from them. As for me, I devote my entire life to them, so I have become like a house that is no longer in a relationship and unable to build a new family.”
Husband: “As you wish, don’t bother yourself at all, I will take them into my custody and then you can get married as soon as your waiting period is over and start a new family.”
Wife: “Since when have I been sacrificing my children? Sacrifice has its own people, and you will not break me with my children. I will take them from you no matter what it costs me!”
Husband: “I have everything you need.”
Wife: “I will also take the house from you against your will, as stipulated by the Family Law.”
Husband: “I have everything you need.”
Wife: “Yes, you will leave it to me after you make it a ruin, and of course you will buy a new house with all its necessities for the new wife, because basically, your children and I do not make a difference to you and we do not concern you.”
Husband: “You mean a lot to me and make the biggest difference in my life.”
Wife: “I will take the alimony from your eyes”!
Husband: “From my eyes, of course.”
Wife: “I will transfer all the children to private schools and I will take all the expenses from you.”
Husband: “It would be the best thing to ensure a better educational future for them.”
Wife: “And I will take the car from you.”
Husband: “That would be the best thing you could do for me!”
Wife: “Tell me, where will you stay after we take you home?!”
He calmly replied: “Don’t worry, I will handle it.”
Wife: “Why should I worry about you? You preferred to leave us alone, and you will leave me to suffer raising the children alone, and you will gain the greater part of peace of mind.”
Husband: “May God make things easy for me.”
Wife: “I will divorce you, but you will stay with us at home. I will not let you evade responsibility for your children and leave me to suffer alone in raising them.”
Husband: “Okay, I will do whatever you want.”
Wife: “Where are you going?!”
Husband: “To the bathroom, and if you have another opinion, I won’t go there, I’ll be patient!”
Wife: “Don’t do anything to yourself, or if you do, I will make your life miserable. I am not prepared to spend the rest of my life as a widow, with everyone living because of my story.”
Husband: “Should I commit suicide?! Am I crazy?! And who should I leave this delicious cake for?!”
Wife: “Do you like the taste?!”
Husband: “The best cake I've ever eaten in my entire life.”
Wife: “But I noticed that it's not like every time.”
Husband: “On the contrary, it is tastier than the previous times. Did you add anything new to it?”
Wife: “I changed the whole recipe but I was afraid you wouldn't like it.”
Husband: “How could I not like something my wife did for me with her own hands? Could you bring me a piece of it?!”
Wife: “Sure, I will make you the best cup of coffee, just the way you want it.”
Husband: “May God bless you.”
Life goes on and the love between them is not clear to anyone who does not know the couple well. Do not ask about the reason for the quarrel between a wife and her husband, because in the end it will be either an increase in hormones or a meal she missed, or perhaps insomnia due to lack of sleep, or perhaps fatigue due to the many pressures on her, or perhaps boredom that has afflicted her from staying at home too much!
Read also: 4 funny stories about Juha that will make you laugh from your heart even if you are sad
The second story:
From very beautiful funny stories in a new style…
A wife tells a story and says, “A year ago, I woke up early. I was supposed to wake my husband up. I prepared the most delicious breakfast for him. My husband is a heavy sleeper and wakes up with great difficulty, so I decided to make things easier for myself. I went into the bedroom, closed the curtains completely, put a white blanket over my husband, and dimmed the lighting. I approached his ear and asked him in a whisper: ‘Who is your God? What is your religion? What do you say about the one who sent you?’”
Suddenly, my husband suddenly got up from his seat, started screaming and running around the room without stopping, saying: “God is my Lord, Islam is my religion, and Muhammad is my prophet and messenger.”
Suddenly, he put his hand on the light switch, and his eyes fell on me in one of the corners of the room, and I almost died from laughing at him!
He grabbed my belt and beat me up until I said the Shahada. He beat me so badly that I had to undergo physical therapy for three months because of the severity of his beating.
Praise be to God, Lord of the Worlds, I have become good and can walk easily, unlike before. I pray for my husband’s guidance, because my poor husband has no ability to tolerate jokes at all!!
Read also: 5 funny stories for children to make them happy and put a smile on their faces
Short funny stories that will make you smile from your heart even if you are sad!
